Jimmy Carr

I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.

There's things that I couldn't joke about but other people could.

I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.

I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.

Barack Obama is crazy sexy.

If somebody honks a horn in Cleveland, they're saying 'Hi.' It's so rare to be honked at in anger. When we have merging traffic, we just interweave. There's real courtesy.