Jimmy Carr

I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.

There's things that I couldn't joke about but other people could.

I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.

If I can add, say, 10 great new violin concertos to the repertoire before I'm done, that will be truly exciting.

For many young women, the dream of independence and a home of their own is a tantalising goal, while a lifetime devoted solely to catering for another person's needs would be hard to countenance.

People say, 'Where do you live?' and I say that theoretically, I live in London, but basically that's just where I go to change my suitcase. Otherwise, I'm always flying somewhere.