Jen Kirkman

Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.

Download

Rotate quotes

butterscotch cart college

These are some quotes by American author Jen Kirkman Comedian, who was born on August 28, 1974.

Quotes by Jen Kirkman

Sometimes I feel like if two parents were given $100, and a child-free person was given $100, everyone would assume that the parents would invest their money wisely because they're smart. And people like me would just go buy candy.

Jen Kirkman

assumebuycandy

I'm wildly different than Maria Bamford or Sarah Silverman, and might be more similar to some male comics.

Jen Kirkman

bamfordcomicmale

Having a child is a lifetime commitment, the biggest one you can possibly make.

Jen Kirkman

bigchildcommitment

Related Quotes

He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie.

Mickey Mantle

badcartfast

I broke with my religion in college.

Anne Rice

breakcollegereligion

I love detail, like drawing what's on top of someone's coffee table. Maybe there's a little bowl of butterscotch candies on it, next to the four TV remotes.

Roz Chast

bowlbutterscotchcandy

Filter by keyword: