Jeffrey Bernard

The only reason I would have liked to have gone to university is because I like cricket. Not a very good reason to want to go, but as good as any, I suppose.

I enjoy doing nothing.

There's nothing undignified about lying about all day and being waited on by servants, sipping bloody champagne.

Big government conservatives are spending trillions and wasting billions. Republicans are no longer the party of fiscal conservancy, but the party of runaway spending and corruption.

I think he had a wake-up call. It's a different kind of race, and I think maybe he didn't take it quite as seriously as he might have, but you can bet he learned a lot of lessons.

If a horse has four legs, and I'm riding it, I think I can win.