Jeffrey Bernard

The only reason I would have liked to have gone to university is because I like cricket. Not a very good reason to want to go, but as good as any, I suppose.

There's nothing undignified about lying about all day and being waited on by servants, sipping bloody champagne.

One of the things that goes with getting older is that one becomes more conservative - and I emphasise that when I use the word conservative I do not mean politically.