Jeffrey Bernard

One of the things that goes with getting older is that one becomes more conservative - and I emphasise that when I use the word conservative I do not mean politically.

There's nothing undignified about lying about all day and being waited on by servants, sipping bloody champagne.

The only reason I would have liked to have gone to university is because I like cricket. Not a very good reason to want to go, but as good as any, I suppose.