Jay London

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.

Whoever grows angry amid troubles applies a drug worse than the disease and is a physician unskilled about misfortunes.

It says on the back of the Nyquil box, 'May cause drowsiness.' It should say, 'Don't make any plans, OK? Kiss your family and friends good-bye.'

No candidate dares to look for a new campaign model that could really enhance the democratic process. Instead we are left with the current one which makes our candidates look like hucksters.