I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for. Jasper Carrott absoluteamazebegin Change image and share on social
The whole debate on what food is best for us is complex, ongoing and often controlled by vested interests. Jasper Carrott complexcontroldebate Change image and share on social
I should be more vocal about the things I believe are doing us harm, but many years ago in my early twenties, I learned a bit of a lesson. I started to realise at that time the benefits of eating healthy food and drink. Jasper Carrott agobenefitbite share on social
There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chase with Pamela Anderson. Jasper Carrott andersonchasecontemplate Change image and share on social
I just felt that 'Golden Balls' was the right thing to do. I didn't care if people thought I was a failure. Jasper Carrott ballcarefailure Change image and share on social
There's a rumour going 'round that if you amass a certain number of penalty points on your driving licence, the authorities will make you take your test again! Now, if ever there was an incentive to drive carefully, they could not have threatened a more terrifying ordeal. Jasper Carrott amassauthoritycarefully share on social
Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them. Jasper Carrott autographheckpeople Change image and share on social
I've played with some very famous bandits in my time on the celebrity golf circuit. Jasper Carrott banditcelebritycircuit Change image and share on social
When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke the mould. Now there are thousands of comedians out there, and I don't think I can be above it all. Jasper Carrott billyboycebreak share on social
Happiness to me is simply not being unhappy. Jasper Carrott happinesssimplyunhappy Change image and share on social
