Top 21 Quotes by Jasper Carrott

There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chase with Pamela Anderson.

The impact of T.V. on our lives in general gets most things out of proportion.

I have that working class fear of having nothing. I've always got one eye on what's in the bank.

I have to confess here that I am a useless cook.

Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.

I have been known to play a few rounds in my time. I'm not obsessive; I don't play in the dark, but even that's not out of the question because Stevie Wonder is also a golfer.

I was never the class clown, and I've no idea where the comedy came from.

I want to do things I enjoy, and show business comes fifth or sixth down the line.

I've played with some very famous bandits in my time on the celebrity golf circuit.

I just felt that 'Golden Balls' was the right thing to do. I didn't care if people thought I was a failure.