I wish black people had a flag they could put into the ground, like when the troops stormed Iwo Jima. J. B. Smoove blackflaggrind Change image and share on social
If a director brings a guy to their movie who does improv, they've got to let him do what he does - otherwise it's like bringing Michael Jordan to your basketball team and telling him to just pass the ball and don't shoot. J. B. Smoove ballbasketballbring share on social
I am addicted to hockey now. I've seen it on TV, but to be there? I had no idea that white people were having so much fun without me. J. B. Smoove addictfunhave Change image and share on social
Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware? J. B. Smoove makephoneremember Change image and share on social
You know how you put peanut butter on a piece of bread and the bread falls - it never falls on the bread side down, it always falls peanut butter side down. That's because of gravity. J. B. Smoove breadbutterfall Change image and share on social
I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and a writer at 'SNL,' I tell people that everything you do is all a piece of your puzzle to determine where you're going to end up at. J. B. Smoove actorcomediandetermine share on social
I wouldn't want to be someone's roommate, that's for sure. You can't do certain things: you can't leave the bathroom door open... you can't put your feet on the couch, you can't hide stuff in the couch. J. B. Smoove bathroomcouchdoor share on social
To be a true comic, you have to have a signature move. You ever watch wrestling? And your favorite wrestler has the one move that he always does to finish his opponent off, right? Like when he climbs on the rope, and he always jumps off the top rope and finishes off his opponent - that's what a comic has. J. B. Smoove climbcomicfavorite share on social
I have big hands. I can't do the touch-screen thing. I'm a button guy. I want to press buttons. J. B. Smoove bigbuttonguy Change image and share on social
I'm trying to be the Jay-Z of comedy one day. I don't know if there's any comedy moguls out there, but I would love to be the first comedy mogul. J. B. Smoove comedydayjay Change image and share on social