Groucho Marx

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

If every time you engage in a sex act, you go into a confession box, you will never accept your own sexuality.

I do think my old fella wasn't much of a... I don't remember him ever being a 'dad' dad. He was too busy working. It was a hard life, man.

I'm organized, but receipts tend to mess up my system. They're barbarians! So I store them in a notepad.