The great thing about comedy is that the longer you've been alive, the more you have to talk about and the better you get. I've got some miles and some road savviness that some other guys don't have. Greg Behrendt alivecomedygreat Change image and share on social
I don't have a massive fan base. I don't have Patton Oswalt numbers, but the fan base I have is incredibly generous, and of the 22,000 people who follow me on Twitter, I think almost all of those people participate. Greg Behrendt 000basefan share on social
I went to stand-up when my rock n' roll dreams weren't coming true. I knew it wasn't going to happen when I was in a New Wave band in 1992 - at the height of grunge. Then I heard No Doubt's 'Spiderwebs' and I said, 'Well, we're done.' They did - and succeeded at - what we were trying to do. Greg Behrendt bandcomedoubt share on social
I'm not a big fan of comedy roasts because most of the time I find them to be really mean, but once in a while, you'll hear something perfectly worded and well-crafted. Greg Behrendt bigcomedycraft Change image and share on social
The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive. Greg Behrendt happenhidelife share on social
I get giddy with the idea of stringing words together that make people laugh. Greg Behrendt giddyidealaugh Change image and share on social
I do think that you can dress yourself out of a problem. The way that a haircut and a new pair of pants can make you feel is better than any therapist, because when you look in the mirror, you see a different person - you are a different person. It's superficial change that can lead to real change. Greg Behrendt changedressfeel share on social
This life is yours and no one else's, and if you spend your time looking at other people's pages, you'll never get anything done. Greg Behrendt lifepagepeople Change image and share on social
Part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities. Greg Behrendt absurditycomedianfunny Change image and share on social
I don't know if you know you're funny, but you enjoy being funny. I know I'm funny because people tell me I am, but when I watch myself, it doesn't make me laugh. Does that make sense? Because I know the jokes, and to me, I feel like I'm pulling the wool over people's eyes. And there are probably people who do not enjoy what I do. Greg Behrendt enjoyeyefeel share on social