Graham Chapman

John Howard Davies was not a very human person... if you made a mistake of any kind, any sort of pause in speech, he would treat you rather as if he was a schoolmaster.

It's nice to see that look of alarm on the faces of the others.

There is no cannibalism in the British navy, absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount.

Just because you might have a sparring match on the air doesn't mean there's any personal animosity.

Why do men fight who were born to be brothers?

I am a Topshop homing pigeon! I can walk into the Oxford Circus branch and ferret out the best bits in minutes.