Gilbert K. Chesterton

The mere brute pleasure of reading the sort of pleasure a cow must have in grazing.

The greenhorn is the ultimate victor in everything; it is he that gets the most out of life.

Journalism largely consists of saying 'Lord Jones is Dead' to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive.

I'm the world's worst after-dinner speaker. I need pictures to respond to. I was the voice of the lottery balls once and got the sack.

I cannot cook to save my life. I'm really frighteningly useless, when you get down to it.

I'm sensitive and get easily upset and insulted.