George Jean Nathan

An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out.

Criticism is the art of appraising others at one's own value.

Criticism is the windows and chandeliers of art: it illuminates the enveloping darkness in which art might otherwise rest only vaguely discernible, and perhaps altogether unseen.

A lot of people think I'm a comedian.

I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.

Of all the haunting moments of motherhood, few rank with hearing your own words come out of your daughter's mouth.