George Jean Nathan

An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out.

Criticism is the art of appraising others at one's own value.

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

Why do men fight who were born to be brothers?

I have a stunt double; his name is Glen Levy, and he has the hardest punch in the world. Seriously, it's actually been recorded by 'National Geographic.' He calls it the Hammer Fist.

Character acting is a much braver pursuit than a guy who runs around and intermittently clenches his jaw muscles.