George Jean Nathan

An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out.

Criticism is the art of appraising others at one's own value.

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

My feeling for reality TV isn't ironic, guilty, or apologetic. Reality TV is one of the few remaining modes of popular entertainment in which characterization is permitted as plot.

Hatred is a very underestimated emotion.

I have a dog named Steve that lives at the studio.