Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is. Garry Shandling finishguyline Change image and share on social
I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead. Garry Shandling aheadclockfifteen Change image and share on social
Some people think the world will end in 2012. I think we've got until 2014. I'm an optimist. Garry Shandling endhaveoptimist Change image and share on social
Dogs are not people. Be leery of any woman who refers to her dogs as her 'kids,' because you'll only end up paying for their schooling. Garry Shandling dogendkid Change image and share on social
I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest. Garry Shandling happynature Change image and share on social
I may discuss love, and I don't mind if two men fall in love, fine. Two women, fine. But I flinch when I think of two Jewish women getting together and having a child because the idea of having two Jewish mothers makes my head explode. I have one; I couldn't handle two. Garry Shandling childdiscussexplode share on social
I feel that everything I do in my life I can do in a shorter time than most men can. It's the quality, not the quantity. Garry Shandling feellifeman Change image and share on social
I practice safe sex - I use an airbag. Garry Shandling airbagpracticesafe Change image and share on social
I have this very abstract idea in my head. I wouldn't even want to call it stand-up, because stand-up conjures in one's mind a comedian with a microphone standing onstage under a spotlight telling jokes to an audience. The direction I'm going in is eventually, you won't know if it's a joke or not. Garry Shandling abstractaudiencecall share on social