Garrison Keillor

Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

I think the first time I was ever really conscious of the difference between people's voices was that my mother's voice was so soft and gentle and her pronunciation was so perfect.

Joyce is a poet and also an elephantine pedant.

I was introduced to country music around a campfire on a farm.