David Letterman

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.

I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.

There is no off position on the genius switch.

What people don't understand about Sarah Palin is that she is a rancher's wife. From Alberta down to Texas I've known women like that: good common sense, bright and vilified by city people.

Well, I actually wrote her a letter a couple of days ago congratulating her. The tone I tried to convey in the letter is, look, you are a part of a great American historical process.

It's very hard to play the straight lead girl and still make her sparkly and fun and real.