Dave Barry

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

I confess that I listen to my own music for my own pleasure.

We define ourselves as intelligent. That's odd, because we're doing the definition - We're creating our own definition and saying, 'We are intelligent!'

Children don't need much advice but they really do need to be listened to and not just with half an ear.