Casey Stengel

You have to have a catcher because if you don't you're likely to have a lot of passed balls.

Never make predictions, especially about the future.

The trouble with women umpires is that I couldn't argue with one. I'd put my arms around her and give her a little kiss.

The first kiss I had was the most disgusting thing in my life. The girl injected about a pound of saliva into my mouth, and when I walked away I had to spit it all out.

I don't really have time to watch too much, but I like 'Family Guy' and 'Entourage.' I'm also obsessed with the YouTube series 'Balls of Steel.' It's hilarious.

When a pitcher's throwing a spitball, don't worry and don't complain, just hit the dry side like I do.