Carol Burnett

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?

I used to be a shopper before I had children. I'd go to Bergdorf and Barneys all the time. But now my weekends are spent differently. I go to the skating rink or the park, not the stores.

It's terribly important that you can criticise people's ideas without criticising them, and if they burst into tears, it means that you tend to hold back from getting at the absolute truth.