Top 30 Quotes by Calvin Trillin

I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.

I don't cook. I don't know anything about food. I've never reviewed a restaurant.

With humor, it's so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they're trying to keep out.

I've always thought that parallel parking was my main talent.

There's always a source for humor.

I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.

What interests me is what you might call vernacular writing, writing that connects you to a place.

If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.