Boris Johnson

I have more in common with a three-toed sloth or a one-eyed pterodactyl or a Kalamata olive than I have with Winston Churchill.

I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.

It is easy to make promises - it is hard work to keep them.

The American people need no course in philosophy or political science of church history to know that God should not be made into a celestial party chairman.

I'm the world's worst after-dinner speaker. I need pictures to respond to. I was the voice of the lottery balls once and got the sack.

Another thing that freaks me out is time. Time is like a book. You have a beginning, a middle and an end. It's just a cycle.