The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards. Billy Connolly attackglasgowgreat Change image and share on social
I loathe hecklers. I haven't got a good syllable to say. When you come out of the club circuit and into the concert hall, they should be gone. There's an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it's a different venue. Billy Connolly circuitclubconcert share on social
I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless. Billy Connolly blowmakeredundant Change image and share on social
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. Billy Connolly bicycleinventionkit Change image and share on social
If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name? Billy Connolly jesusjewmexican Change image and share on social
I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered. Billy Connolly chasedogdoor Change image and share on social
It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things. Billy Connolly christianitygodislam Change image and share on social
I like Dali and Magritte. I also like the Scottish artist John Byrne, another surrealist. Billy Connolly artistbyrnedali Change image and share on social
The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know. Billy Connolly 20s30samerica Change image and share on social