George Carlin is brilliant with words, and Johnny Winters is very creative. It's taking something common and drawing out the humor, being clever with words. Bill Cosby brilliantcarlinclever Change image and share on social
A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station. Bill Cosby bathroomchildcompany share on social
Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing. Bill Cosby closeeyeopen Change image and share on social
People have all kinds of approaches when they come up to me. Some of them are so nervous: 'You know, Mr. Cosby, you are my biggest fan!' I am? Some of them even claim that I raised them. Bill Cosby approachbigclaim Change image and share on social
Sometimes you try to help people, and it backfires on you, and then they try to take advantage of you. Bill Cosby advantagebackfirepeople Change image and share on social
Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice. Bill Cosby deephearvoice Change image and share on social
There are certain times of the day when you need a balance - that is, your protein and your carbs. I'm a Barry Sears man. I believe that anything green is a carb, and I need 2:1. Two of the carbs to one of the protein. Bill Cosby balancebarrycarb share on social
You come to my comedy show to be entertained. Bill Cosby comedyentertainshow Change image and share on social
I love Twitter, but some people use profanity so much that at some point it's like saying, 'Pass the salt.' Bill Cosby lovepaspeople Change image and share on social
For college seniors there should be a week of being allowed to cry. Just break down and cry because you are scared and don't know what's next. Bill Cosby allowbreakcollege Change image and share on social
