Bill Bryson

More than 300 million people in the world speak English and the rest, it sometimes seems, try to.

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age.

America is a great disappointment to me. As I said in one of my books, other societies create civilisations; we build shopping malls.

I think Chelsea Handler is the funniest woman.

I have a naturally camp sensibility and a camp sense of humour. I love the icons that gay people love.

What people don't understand about Sarah Palin is that she is a rancher's wife. From Alberta down to Texas I've known women like that: good common sense, bright and vilified by city people.