Ben Elton

Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.

There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I've made a great living doing the things I want to do.

The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.

I would've done anything to work with Satyajit Ray.

But we need to show that the EU can modernise itself, can adapt to the needs of its citizens, can take their views into account. That will be our ambition for the UK Presidency.

Children don't need much advice but they really do need to be listened to and not just with half an ear.