Ben Elton

Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.

There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I've made a great living doing the things I want to do.

The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.

As a young boy, I did a lot of foolish things. I made a lot of mistakes. And you live and learn.

I am a big one for subtlety and empathy. My dad was softly spoken and didn't carry his honours and accomplishments for everyone to see.

It's good to like yourself, and that only comes from hard work, from doing. But vanity is dangerous; it can trip you badly.