Andy Rooney

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.

If you're not having a good time, find something else that gives you some joy in life.

I just had an idea that went right over my head.

I know I'm not the kind of person who's gonna wind up a walking jukebox, like many rock 'n' roll artists. They just play their hits and that's it. That doesn't appeal to me.