Alan King

When I was a kid, I used to send away for those ventriloquist kits on the back of comic books.

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

Smoked salmon is for dinner. Belly lox is for breakfast. Don't get that mixed up.

White women love me 'cause of my edge. And I love white women.

I always dreamed of writing in an orchestral context. But when you finish a piece, you want to hear it. So we played everything with Phish.

I get asked all the time if I want to do more dramatic acting, and I really doubt that dramatic actors get asked if they want to do more comedies. I don't really know why that is.