Al Yankovic

I mean, I hate to gloat, but I'm extremely satisfied with my position in life and the way things have worked out for me.

What kind of morons do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist's performance on whether or not they had a good seat?

I've learned how to use my spam filter pretty effectively.

My first career ambitions involved turning into a boy; I intended to be either a railway guard or a knight errant.

The irony is that you can't use real rain to make movies.

I would've done anything to work with Satyajit Ray.