Al Yankovic

I mean, I hate to gloat, but I'm extremely satisfied with my position in life and the way things have worked out for me.

What kind of morons do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist's performance on whether or not they had a good seat?

I've learned how to use my spam filter pretty effectively.

I hang out with the 'nerdy' people - they have a different sense of humor than most kids.

If you have a block of ballistics gelatin and a high-speed camera, pretty soon somebody gets a gun!

I don't like to get in front of people.