Popular Quotes

We end the show with something that's never been on TV because it was too big for a sketch but we couldn't stretch it out to make a whole episode because it would have been too long, but we always thought it was really good.

We ended up New Year's Eve playin' a show. My date had stood me up, and I remember walkin' back to my friends with, like, two minutes before midnight and thinkin', 'I'm not gonna have anybody to kiss on New Year's.' And there she was, standin' right there, and I remember kissin' her, and then that was game over.

We engineered activity out of our lives in the name of convenience. We created foods that put fried, fatty, sweet, and salty ahead of fresh, natural, and healthy. We quickly sacrifice sleep to work longer hours in pursuit of the American Dream. Even when we do these things with good intentions, they have life-threatening consequences.

We enter the government essentially in a hotel that is on fire. We're throwing people from the windows into the pool to save their lives and this is the evaluation of the Olympic diving committee: Well, the splash was too big.