Queen Victoria

An ugly baby is a very nasty object - and the prettiest is frightful.

Great events make me quiet and calm; it is only trifles that irritate my nerves.

I feel sure that no girl would go to the altar if she knew all.

As a rule, there is no surer way to the dislike of men than to behave well where they have behaved badly.

The first kiss I had was the most disgusting thing in my life. The girl injected about a pound of saliva into my mouth, and when I walked away I had to spit it all out.

I'm a working stiff, baby, just like everybody else.