Paul Mooney

I can't change the past, but one person can change the future - anything can happen.

I'm passionate about what I do. I'd be naive to be passive.

We have a lot of black Anglo-Saxons. Their skin is black, but their brain is white. When I get real mad at them, I call them 'graham crackers.'

Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.

We define ourselves as intelligent. That's odd, because we're doing the definition - We're creating our own definition and saying, 'We are intelligent!'

It's good to like yourself, and that only comes from hard work, from doing. But vanity is dangerous; it can trip you badly.