Oscar Hijuelos

Boxers, man, except when I have to get dressed up. Then it's boxer-briefs. But never tighty-whities. Never. But dude! If they brought back Underoos? Dude, if they brought back Underoos, I would rock the Underoos. Like He-Man and Transformers and G.I. Joe and even like Dukes of Hazzard.

I am so tired of ruggedly handsome heroes. I don't know too many ruggedly handsome people who are necessarily nice people. In fact, the beautiful people have a big handicap because they rely too much on their appearance and don't bother to become interesting.

Baseball loyalists cite the game's legendary numbers - 300 wins, 500 homers, 3,000 hits - as evidence of the sport's elegance, beauty, and gravitas. What no one mentions is how wretched and painful it is to actually watch a former star gasp and sputter his way toward a legendary number.