Top 113 Quotes by Melissa McCarthy

I didn't really know how to write jokes, so I just told weird, long stories about being tall and beautiful and wealthy in New York. I'd tell them very seriously, but I kind of looked like a drag queen at the time with big wigs and crazy 12-inch platform heels.

In my 20s, I used to cry about why I wasn't thinner or prettier, but I want to add that I also used to cry about things like, 'I wish my hair would grow faster. I wish I had different shoes...' I was an idiot... It's a decade of tears.

I will embarrass my kids to their core. I will threaten to show up in hot pants and a tube top. Their dad will drive me. And he'll let me and my friend Lisa get pretty drunk in the backseat, and we will come into that party and just rip it up.

I'm very boring. But I'm a bit obsessed with women that are so incredibly solid in their shoes that they don't care what other people think of them. I just think there's something so interesting about that kind of confidence.

I see teenagers or people who are 21 and think, 'I was an idiot at that age.' I was running around New York like a crazy woman. Thank God I only had three and a half cents to my name. I was too immature to handle success then.

I believe it matters how you treat people. I believe in Heaven. I don't believe that this is it, and then we're done. I have a lovely relationship with God, although when I've lost someone or I've seen a sick child, I've had conversations with Him in which I've had to ask, 'How can that be right?'