Mark Billingham

An actor's life is all about rejection. It's you they don't want; it's you who's too tall or too short or too fat. With stand-up, it doesn't matter what you look like.

Whenever people ask where I get my sick and twisted ideas from, I reply, 'Just open your eyes.'

Crime is the biggest genre in libraries and in bookshops, and it is hugely varied.

People say, 'Where do you live?' and I say that theoretically, I live in London, but basically that's just where I go to change my suitcase. Otherwise, I'm always flying somewhere.

Exeter was, I suspect, more crucial in my life than in the lives of most members of my class, and conceivably, than in the lives of almost anyone else who ever attended the school.

I think Chelsea Handler is the funniest woman.