Jimmy Fallon

My dad used to work at IBM, so we used to get discounts on computers and stuff, and I did have a ThinkPad.

Thank you, hard taco shells, for surviving the long journey from factory, to supermarket, to my plate and then breaking the moment I put something inside you. Thank you.

Anything I learned was just work hard, just keep working and don't worry about the outside stuff. Whatever happens will happen.

I get younger people who watch Conan or The Daily Show, but before that it was mostly people who knew me from public radio. Those people are kind of old.

America stands for the land of opportunity.

I think Chelsea Handler is the funniest woman.