I remember the first time I heard a co-worker refer to himself as a foodie. It immediately irritated me. Was he implying that he appreciated food more than other people? That his love of eating was somehow more evolved than mine? Don't all people love the thing we can't live without? Jessi Klein appreciateeatevolve share on social
You know how Bed Bath & Beyond sells those white noise machines that help you sleep? And they usually make ocean noises? I want one that's just David Gergen gently muttering about the economy. Jessi Klein bathbeddavid Change image and share on social
I'm sick of the foodies who need every morsel that goes into their mouth to be a Picasso painting, a Giacometti sculpture, a Proust novel, evoking the world with each crumb. Jessi Klein crumbevokefoody Change image and share on social
I find it extremely ironic that Bush says that personal opinion should not be a tool in the interpretation of the Constitution, when he's the one who's lobbying for a Constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. If that doesn't stem from personal opinion, I don't know what does. Jessi Klein amendmentbanbush share on social
The very first time I did standup, I went to an open mike on the Lower East Side at a place that doesn't exist anymore. And it was one of those open mikes that wasn't really just for comedy. Jessi Klein anymorecomedyeast Change image and share on social
Everyone wants to say they hate lawyers, and yet I've never met a parent who didn't want their kid to be a lawyer. Jessi Klein hatehavekid Change image and share on social
I see an insidious problem in the marketing of weddings as 'the happiest day of your life.' The pressure that is placed upon this event to be the alpha and omega of your entire existence makes it, I think, into a kind of nuptial New Year's Eve, and we all know how that usually turns out. Jessi Klein alphadayentire share on social
My 20s were all about feeling desperate. Desperate to find a new boyfriend. Desperate to get the perfect job. Desperate to get rid of this terrible relationship with this bad new boyfriend. Jessi Klein 20sbadboyfriend Change image and share on social
I want to go to Australia and take the same goofy picture of me holding a koala that everyone else takes. Jessi Klein australiagoofyhold Change image and share on social
If I have one wish for my birthday, it is that 35 is the end of desperation and the beginning of acceptance. Part of that is believing that if I'm meant to give birth, I will. Jessi Klein acceptancebeginbelieve Change image and share on social