Top 24 Quotes by Jason Segel

For some reason, I was born without a sense of embarrassment or shame.

I was making out with this woman, and my shirt was off, and she leaned over and, in a really cute, girly voice, went, 'Hey, fatty!'

I went on a Hot Pocket diet where I ate two Hot Pockets every four hours. I only had the pepperoni pizza flavour. I didn't go anywhere near the cheeseburger macaroni.

Fozzie Bear has so many bear puns in this script - like, 'Trac is grizzly!' 'This is unbearable!' It's the greatest.

You guys own the Muppets, and you're just kind of sitting on 'em. I really love the Muppets, and I think I know how to bring the franchise back.

If you can find the line between sympathetic and creepy, you have reached a very funny area.

My belief in God is that God wants you. God wants you to believe in him, or it, whatever you would call it.

I was a huge Muppet fan growing up. I want to bring it back to the early '80s Muppet movies, when the scripts could have been performed by humans.

I'm better looking in person.

I sold my first script when I was 21 - this kids' adventure movie that never got made. I just bought that one back, actually. I'm pretty psyched about it.