H. L. Mencken

Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.

What men value in this world is not rights but privileges.

Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.

I grew up on the streets of Baltimore, a city I love to this very day.

I have a Guinness Book of World Records entry as the most-watched person on television; now I have a new entry as the only man who has a crab named after him.