George Steinbrenner

People keep coming up to me and asking, 'How does it feel to be banned for life?' Banned for life. I wasn't banned for life. There was never a word of suspension, probation or ban in that agreement. It was never meant to be part of it.

A lot of people give actors credit when they gain weight for a role in a drama when they win an Oscar, but when you're doing a sitcom, people don't give you a lot of credit, because you've got to keep your weight on for five or six years if it's successful.

What a piece of garbage this smart car is. There's a commercial - the smart car has zero percent interest for six years. Well, good, I got zero percent in six years in buying this smart car. I'll tell you that much. I mean, it's ridiculous. My buddy has a smart car, totaled it. He hit a deer tick.