I've been on a state of high alert since high school. I didn't need 9/11 to remind me that we live on a ball of flame. Garry Shandling alertballflame Change image and share on social
Dr. Phil is hiding something. Otherwise, why wouldn't he use his last name? Garry Shandling hidephil Change image and share on social
Nobody can write better jokes putting me down than me. Garry Shandling jokeputtwrite Change image and share on social
I've never had anyone put on a puppet show to convince me of anything. And I've done a lot of stuff. I don't know that I would put the puppets on when I was pitching a show. This was the head of the studio putting a puppet show on. And I'll tell you, he wasn't bad. Garry Shandling badconvincehave share on social
I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know. Garry Shandling expresspeoplephone Change image and share on social
Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive. Garry Shandling comedydefensemechanism Change image and share on social
It takes me so long to get tired of a man. It's women that are the problem. Don't get me wrong. I think men have their problems just as much as women. Garry Shandling longmanproblem Change image and share on social
There's a good chance that if you're talking to me when I'm snoring, it means I'm bored. Garry Shandling borechancegood Change image and share on social
Everyone at a party is uncomfortable. Knowing that makes me more comfortable. Garry Shandling comfortableknowmake Change image and share on social
I keep my scrapbooks in the car. When I come to a stoplight, I start looking through my past. Sometimes I wish the red lights were longer. Garry Shandling carlightlong Change image and share on social
