Douglas Horton

Life is good when we think it's good. Life is bad when we don't think.

Beauty is variable, ugliness is constant.

While seeking revenge, dig two graves - one for yourself.

I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though you're poking fun at someone or something, there's still an affection for it.

The Parthenon without the marbles is like a smile with a tooth missing.

It's an ear job, not an eye job.