David Spade

I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder.

To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.

Everyone is so weird in L.A. that if you're somewhat normal, it's exotic.

A kid is something precious, and you want to protect it and keep it fun. I'm not a dad, but I've seen people and how they behave with their kids.

I had siblings from South Asia, from East Asia, from depressed communities around America, and you know, we'd have long conversations.

Going to Catholic school was what fueled me into comedy. The nuns were so brutal so I used to try to make my friends laugh.