It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up. Download Download Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Rotate quotes crack cushy funny
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. Dan Castellaneta dutyeasyjury Change image and share on social
To many, Homer may appear lazy and a loser, but he's just much misguided. He's boorish, sure, but well meaning and, I guess, the one thing we have in common is the pursuit of lousy diets. Dan Castellaneta boorishcommondiet Change image and share on social
In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics! Dan Castellaneta houselawobey Change image and share on social
I guess if you want me to stop writing horrible, mean takedowns of everyone, give me a really, really cushy columnist gig. Alex Pareene columnistcushygig Change image and share on social
I think Chelsea Handler is the funniest woman. David Alan Grier chelseafunnyhandler Change image and share on social
What cracks me up is people who think I don't take baseball seriously. It's the most important thing in my life. They don't know how hard it is for me to get a bad game out of my mind. I still can't, but I'm getting better. Brady Anderson badbaseballcrack share on social
