Beth Ditto

My mother told me Homer Ditto was not my father. Nope. Mom had had a fling with some other guy who was my dad. Some dude who didn't stick around too long who Mom was happy to get rid of. She chose Homer, and Homer chose me, so he lent me his name even though I didn't have his blood.

If I'm not barefoot, you'll probably find me with a pair of New Balance on. And I'm not one of those hipster-jump-on-the-band-wagon-ironically-cool NB fans. I've been rocking those kicks since they were true nerd shoes. Since the '80s, yo! Word.

I had an instinctive feeling that the people who have little or no school training should have something coming into their homes weekly which dealt with their problems in a simple, helpful way... so I wrote in a plain, common-sense way on the things that concerned our people.