I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun. Download Download Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Rotate quotes cook dishwasher fun
What's cool about Twitter is that you can make a joke about something very of-the-moment or random that I wouldn't be able to joke about in stand-up. Aziz Ansari cooljokemake Change image and share on social
I'm always down to try a new burger, but Shake Shack is still my top. What makes them so special is for the bread they use Martin's potato rolls which is just the best hamburger buns ever. Aziz Ansari breadbunburger Change image and share on social
I don't think you can describe your ideal girl. A big part of that is just meeting someone and really clicking with them and wanting to hang out with them all of the time. Aziz Ansari bigclickdescribe Change image and share on social
I cannot cook to save my life. I'm really frighteningly useless, when you get down to it. Nikki Cox cookfrighteninglylife Change image and share on social
My family keeps me pretty grounded. Like if I try anything diva, they're like, 'Oh shut up. Go and do the dishwasher.' Rebel Wilson dishwasherdivafamily Change image and share on social
A kid is something precious, and you want to protect it and keep it fun. I'm not a dad, but I've seen people and how they behave with their kids. Jason Statham behavedadfun Change image and share on social
